You're the Reason Why
by DaffodilChains
Summary: The heartbreaker of the school Leo, or Loke as he insists everyone calls him, finds out his childhood friend had committed suicide. That day, when he gets home, he finds that a certain someone had emailed him: Aries, the one who had committed suicide. She had sent him an audio file, and she tells him that he's the reason she died.
1. The Email

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail. Or Th1rteen R3asons Why (by Jay Asher).**

**A/N:**

** I got the idea for this fic from the book Thirteen Reasons Why, and if you haven't read it yet, you should. It's a great book, albeit a bit sad. You could say I **_**copied **_**the whole thing, but I didn't really. But if you feel this way, go ahead. **

** I'm in a very serious LoRies mood right now. Like, this morning, I woke up and I was like **_**I ship LoRies.**_** And then I thought that there was something wrong with me because I shipped LoLu, but then… Yeah, no more LoLu…**

** Oh, and this is in Loke/Leo's POV and they don't have powers and so on. It's in an AU.**

I walked into the classroom and, by routine, immediately headed over to Lucy's desk. "Hey, Princess. Feel up for a date today?" I was the 'heartbreaker' at this school and 'heartbreaker' wasn't just some random nickname.

Lucy looked up, and I saw that her eyes were red, puffy, and filled with tears. "Hey, what's wrong? Did some guy do this to you? 'Cause I swear I'll beat the heck out of him."

She shook her head then nodded over at the window. As I turned to look around, I saw that everyone was either a) crying or b) staring into space. Then I saw an empty seat by the window.

Suddenly, something clicked. The sad faces, everyone crying, the empty seat. "Where's Aries?" My voice was a whisper. There was no answer. "Where's Aries?" I said, louder this time. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to face Macao sensei. "Loke, Aries… She died yesterday. She committed suicide."

"No." I refused to believe it. Aries and I hadn't spoken that much for a while, but we'd been friends since we were children. We were born in the same hospital. We'd been put in the same orphanage after Aries' mother died giving birth to her and my mother ran off into the night. We knew each other well.

"No," I said again. Macao nodded slowly and sadly. "We know you were close to her." He cleared his throat and sniffed. "Why don't you take the day off, huh?" He patted me on my back and walked back to the front of the classroom.

Normally, I would've walked out of the room there and then. I mean, a Monday with no school! And no consequences after! But today, I needed to take my mind of Aries, so I stayed. I stayed through math, and Wakaba sensei gave me a 70%, even though I'd gotten more than half of the questions wrong. I stayed through English, and Laki sensei was extra nice to everyone, telling us we could go outside and have a free reading period. I stayed through science, and Cana sensei just gave me a pat on the head when I nearly burnt down the lab. And I stayed through Home Ec, which was the worst. Because Aries was usually my partner and she was gone.

When I got home, I walked straight up the carpeted stairs and pushed open the door to my bedroom. I locked the door behind me and pulled my laptop off my desk and dragged it onto the bed. Maybe surfing the Internet would help.

Out of habit, I clicked on my bookmark icon that led to Gmail, and I saw that there was one unread email. And I could almost feel the blood drain from my face. Because the email was from Aries.


	2. Recording 1 - Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own FT or 13 Reasons Why.**

* * *

_**Out of habit, I clicked on my bookmark icon that led to Gmail, and I saw that there was one unread email. And I could almost feel the blood drain from my face. Because the email was from Aries.**_

* * *

I almost slammed the screen of my laptop down, but prevented myself. _Calm down, Loke, _I told myself. I clicked on the blue hyperlink of the email and waited the few seconds Gmail needed to load. When the page showed up there was an audio file and underneath it was Download and Play.

I clicked download. This was too important to just click play and then delete it later. At least, that's what my gut feeling told me.

iTunes popped up, and I chewed the inside of my cheek while the icon started to bounce. When iTunes finally loaded, I grabbed my earphones and shoved them in my ear. Then I clicked play.

* * *

_ Ano, sumimasen. Hi Leo. It's Aries. If you've gotten this, then you it must be Monday. I found out that I could set it so that I could make drafts and then set them to send themselves when it reached the time. _

_ Of course, you don't have to listen. But you might want to. Before I start on the real story, though, you might be wondering why you got this. It's simple, really. You have this, because you're the reason I died._

* * *

I paused the file and found that I was breathing hard. The last sentence of that I'd just listened to had scared me. But it couldn't be true. Aries was the reason she'd died. I'd heard it from the other students. Her parent's had found her on the bathroom floor, with a knife in her gut.

_Look! Do you want to know why she's accusing you or what? Listen!_ I shook my head to clear the thoughts from my mind, but I pressed play.

* * *

_ This story starts at the beginning of school. I was the new girl, and I knew you were going there. I hoped you'd remember me, and you did. We talked in Home Ec about old times and all that and it made me happy. That was the one time at school that I felt happy. _

_ I know you noticed. Everyone did. I was bullied. I'm kind of shy and scared and that makes me a nice target for the school bullies. I hoped someone would stop them. Anyone, really, but mostly you. Because I thought you were my friend._

_ You were called the 'Heartbreaker' because of all the girls you'd turned down and rejected, and despite that, when I had to tutor you, I… fell in love with you. _

_ Remember that book we read in class? Thirteen Reasons Why? You can thank that for giving me this idea, but I'm no Hannah Baker, and I'm not going to give you the long story. I'll just give you the shorter version, because I know you can't concentrate, Leo._

* * *

I paused it again, and listened to the whir of my laptop. She kept calling me Leo. I hadn't let anyone call me that since I was 12. But Aries, she never called me anything but Leo.

I pushed the screen of my laptop down and leant backwards, so that my head was against the hard woodenhead of my bed.

Aries couldn't blame me for not helping her. We weren't _that _close after all. But I should've helped her.


	3. Recording 1 - Part 2

**Disclaimer: I wish these weren't necessary, but they are so: I don't own anything.**

_ In the beginning of the year, you slacked off in classes and skived a lot. Your grades dipped and so, the teacher made me tutor you. All your other fangirls were pretty depressed that they didn't get chosen to be with you and though I didn't let it show, I was basically jumping with joy as well. _

_ We got along well. I taught you and you actually listened. We got to know each other better. The tutoring sessions we had together became the highlight of my weeks. _

_ Let me lift a teensy bit of guilt off your shoulders, Leo. It wasn't __**completely **__your fault I killed myself. There was Karen, with her hitting me. And there were the bullies at school of course. _

_ So when, your grades went up again, the teacher thought you didn't need a tutor anymore, and I was… cast aside, I guess. I'm not sure how to say it nicely, but cast aside is one way to say it. _

I could feel tears in my eyes, but I wasn't sure what the tears were of. Anger, because she was accusing me? Guilt, because I was the reason she killed herself? Sadness, because I didn't do anything to help her?

I wasn't sure.

I wish she could've found another way to say it. Sugar coat it, even. But I knew what she was saying was true. I did cast her aside. I barely talked to her except for the occasional 'hello' or 'how're you doing?'.

I wish it wasn't.

_ Wait, no. Correction. Cast aside __**most of the time. **__There was that time, remember, when you asked me out on that picnic? You said, "It's a date!" and I think, if possible, I fell even more in love with you. _

_ We went on the picnic and it was great. The first bit of it. Then you started going on about __**her.**__ It was Lucy this and Lucy that, and "Oh, I __**wish**__ Lucy would date me."_

_ I have nothing against her. She's nice and sweet and she even tried to help when she found out that Karen was beating; she actually noticed. _

_ I actually remember the full conversation. Call me obsessive if you want. _

I remembered too.

_ "I wish, I wish, I wish, Lucy would date me!" You said._

_ I almost cried at this, I remember. I didn't, of course. Last thing I needed was you thinking I was a bad friend. So I told you, "Why don't you ask her out, then?"_

_ "I'm afraid I'll be rejected."_

_ I almost laughed, you know. You? The playboy, heartbreaker, 'it' boy of our school was afraid a girl would reject you? Do you remember what I told you?_

I do remember. _You won't know until you try._ Those were her words.

_"You won't know until you try," I said. _

_ You smiled. Those were my drugs. Your smiles, that is. I lived for them. You stuffed a cake in your mouth, and you said, "OK, I'll ask her tomorrow."_

_ I smiled when you smiled, but did you notice, when you said that, my smile was gone?_

_ Ah well. Shouldn't expect that of you. It's just a small thing. Anyways, it's time to wrap up! Don't worry I'm not done yet. Tomorrow, you'll get another recording. More of the story's coming._

_ Ja ne, Leo._

The recording ended and the next song on my iTunes list started playing. It was one Aries and I used to listen to all the time. Celestial Stars. We used to joke about it, since our names were also names of the star signs. Leo and Aries. According to we went well together.

Aries. Why did you have to go?


	4. Recording 2 - Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own FT or 13 Reasons Why**

**A/N:**

** Ohayo, minna! It's my birthday today (the day I'm writing this – April 11, not when I upload) and I'm in a super happy mood cos my friends are really nice :') **

** It's a ton of work at school and I don't have that much time to update, gommenasai **

I was a lot more quiet than usual, and my mom took that as a sign that I was sick. I _felt_ sick, although I knew I wasn't. "Stay home," she told me, then grabbed her handbag and ran out the door to work.

I lay on my back on my bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the recording. I blew at my bangs and sat up. Pulling my laptop to me, I typed in my password and opened my email. The page loaded and I noticed that I was waiting in _anticipation. What the heck?_ I thought. _Shouldn't I feel guilty? Or sad?_

The page finally loaded, and, like I expected, there was an email. I clicked on the link, downloaded the file and waited for iTunes to load.

* * *

_ Are you listening to this? That's kind of a surprise. I thought you would've deleted the next thing you saw was from me. OK, here we go, then. _

_ Where did we leave off last time? Oh, right. You were going to ask Lucy out. So you did and she rejected you and you blamed me with this:_

_ "I __**knew**__ I shouldn't have asked her now! It's not the right time! She told me I like someone else! Argh! What a lame rejection line! This is __**all**__ your fault!"_

_ So I said my usual sorries, but you were __**really**__ angry. Ha. Who knew she meant __**that**__ much to you? OK, sorry Lucy. I didn't mean that, really. I'm jealous. Whoops. I mean I __**was**__ jealous. _

_ After that you ignored me for some time. No more hellos even. I still liked you, though. I knew you hated me for giving you bad advice, but still. Stupid, huh? And, so we move on to the next part that pushed me to the end: the __**second**__ picnic. _

_ OK, obsessive memory time, Leo. Sorry._

_ "Sorry," You said._

_ I shook my head. "No, I gave you bad advice and Lucy rejected you." I was killing myself saying this, but I didn't want to be ignored any longer. _

_ Then __**you**__ shook your head. "Nah, it just wasn't the right time."_

_ We unpacked the stuff and all that and you said, "I'll wait for her, though. She's the only girl I'll ever like."_

_ And, like they say, everyone has a breaking point or whatever. There was mine. You slung your arm around me, and if the situation was different, I would've been happy. No, ecstatic, but like I said: it was my breaking point. _

_ Remember what I said? I said, "go away," and then I pushed you off and ran away. Of course, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if you ran after me and asked what was wrong but you stayed back and just sat there. Probably ate some cake. What were you thinking? _

_ Wait, no. Let me guess. "Oh, it's just Aries. She has no friends and will come running back to me later. It's OK."_

_ Is that correct?_

* * *

No. It wasn't. I thought she wanted some time alone. _Don't lie. You did think that. _

I wish that bit of my head would shut up.

* * *

_Gommenasai, Leo. I guess I shouldn't blame you. I was the one that ran away. _

_ Weeks later, I heard school gossip: you'd asked Lucy out again and she'd refused you __**again.**__ I went up to her and asked, "Why do you keep rejecting Leo?" _

_ "Leo?" She said. "Oh, you mean Loke. I like him as a friend, and I can __**see**__ he likes someone else."_

_ "Who?" I asked. _

_ She smiled and just looked at me. I hoped she was hinting that it was __**me**__, but considering your actions, I thought, no. It couldn't be. _

_ Few weeks later, Karen's boyfriend dumped her and she picked a fight with a random person she didn't even know. Someone called Angel. Angel defeated her and bruised her pride, which meant she was angry. When Karen is angry, I get beaten._

_ I decided I'd had enough of this place. I hated school. I hated Karen. I hated my life. The only person I still liked was you, but I couldn't pluck up courage to tell you. So I decided, there and then, I wanted to die. _

_ There's still a teensy weensy bit of my story left, but my recording limit is ending, so sayonara, Leo._

* * *

She stopped speaking again and I looked up at the ceiling. I knew what Lucy had told me was true now. I _did _like someone else. But that someone was now gone. And it was all my fault.

**A/N:**

** Konichiwa, minna! Sorry for super late updates on everything, but school is loading tons of homework on us and it's hard to find time. Gommenasai ^.^ **


	5. Recording 2 - Part 2 (END)

**A/N:**

** There's some confusion with this, since in the beginning I said Loke's mom 'ran off into the night' and in the last chapter I said his mom said he looked sick. I didn't really make this clear, and since this was in MY mind, I forget other people can't know what I mean too, so sorry! Like Aries has Karen as her foster mom, Leo has one too. That's what I meant. Sorry for confusion!**

School was no longer fun. OK, lessons had never been fun. I wasn't smart. Not a dunce, but not smart. And anyway, I always said: "I have a rep to protect."

But I had fun, usually, with all my fangirls hanging onto my every word, or hanging out with Gray and planning out some pranks. No, today was different. I was out of the loop. And that was weird since I was basically 'the loop'. People noticed. I had a bunch of girls come up to me and say things like, "Loke-san, why do you look so sad?" and "Loke-sama, are you thinking of a girl?" and "Loke-kun, why are you so quiet? And you look like you've been crying!"

I answered them all with an "Hmm, really?" and a shoulder shrug. They'd walk away awkwardly and then stop bothering – talking to me. And then it was break.

"OK, dude, whatever you're thinking of you need to snap out of it!" Gray was shaking me back and forth. "Man, what's gotten into you today?"

I chewed my lip and when I spoke my voice was a croak. "Did you know Aries liked me?"

Gray shrugged. "Yeah, why? Everyone knew."

"How come I didn't?"

"You just," Gray sighed, "I don't know. You were so busy chasing Lucy, you just didn't notice, I guess." He flipped a raven black bang away from his eye. "Why you so interested in her suddenly? Is it because she died?" Gray laughed.

"What the heck!" I shoved Gray and he fell over. "Don't make fun of her like that!"

"Calm down!" Gray brushed off his clothes. "I was just joking."

"You don't joke about dead people," I said, huffing. _Especially not Aries._

"OK, you know what? Go home. Calm down. Think about Lucy or whatever. I'll tell the teacher you're out of your mind." Gray snorted and left me sitting on the cold marble bench.

I took Gray's advice and headed home. It was a windy day and I had my collar up to keep the wind out. When I reached home, I checked my email, first thing. When I saw the email, I almost smiled. I hated that she was blaming me and that it was my fault. But I loved listening to her voice.

* * *

_Leo. Hi. So, like I said, there's a teensy weensy bit more to my story. Here we go. _

_After I realized that I hated my life and I wanted it to end, everything was easier, surprisingly. I began to think of ways to kill myself. Pills, like Hannah Baker? Drowning? Lock myself in a room and burn coal? It was kinda fun, making a list of things I could do to end my life. As I said, everything was easier. Because I knew I would leave soon. Seeing you flirt with Lucy wasn't as bad anymore. Being bullied wasn't as bad anymore. Being hit by Karen wasn't as bad anymore. _

_I decided how I would kill myself when I was on Tumblr. I was scrolling through my dashboard – Tumblr was one of the things I could enjoy, even before I'd decided to kill myself – and saw this post. It read:_

_**She paints a pretty picture,**_

_**But this story has a twist,**_

_**Her paintbrush is a razor,**_

_**And her canvas is her wrist.**_

_I thought, "That'd be a pretty dramatic way to die. Plus it wasn't too complicated." OK, yes. By this time, I'd given up. I've decided. Tomorrow is the day. No, wait. The day after, because I still have to send you this. _

_I guess you're wondering what this last recording is for if all I'm going to do is tell you how I want to die. There's a little more than that. Just a bit. _

_Leo, I'm sorry. And I love you._

* * *

Again it ended. And now it was over. The one thing the rumors got wrong. A teensy tinsy detail. She'd slit her wrists, not stabbed herself in the gut. I squeezed my eyes shut. _I'm sorry, too, Aries. And I know what Lucy said is right, now. I love someone else. I love you. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. _

**A/N:**

** The End! Please review and tell me how I can improve! If you check my profile, you can see some of my upcoming stories and their summaries; a Lories one is coming up again!**

**Oh and the Tumblr post is actually there! Check out the link on my profile.**


End file.
